Soccer was the love of my life. I lived and breathed soccer before I could walk. As a baby, my mom would only get me to eat by taking me to the park down the road from my house to watch “the big kids” play. I was so excited because in 2002, I was three and could finally play organized soccer. This was the first time I experienced the ecstasy of scoring a goal or making a perfect pass. This was also the first time I experienced heading the ball.
I realized that I had potential by age six and was invited to try out for my club’s developmental academy. I was so excited the day I found out I made the team. The next spring, spring 2007, I traveled with my family to Upper Moreland, PA to play in my first tournament. I was hooked. I developed my skills but I developed my love for the game even more. I was then able to make the top travel team that same spring for my club.
By the fall of 2011, I was in seventh grade and this was when we were first allowed to play for our school teams. My friends and I had been dreaming about this day since fifth grade. Unfortunately, I’d already experienced at least one concussion and suffered from daily headaches before I graduated from elementary school and by the time I was playing on my seventh grade team, I’d already had probably three concussions. I barely knew what a concussion was. I knew it was something that happened to NFL players but if I had to take a guess at which body part concussions effect, I probably would have guessed the knee or more broadly, the leg. My first concussion of seventh grade was during a soccer game in gym class. Before the game while kicking a ball around with my friend, a boy in the class tackled me. I don’t remember hitting the ground. The next thing I remember is my gym teacher’s voice. He was talking to me and then some of my classmates. When I was able to speak, I told him I was okay and just bruised my arm. I refused to go to the nurse. I had a soccer game later in the day and I couldn’t go home for what seemed so mild. We then went outside to play a game of soccer. During the game, I was slide tackled. I slammed the back of my head. When I got up, I had a pounding headache and was super nauseous. My teacher knew something was wrong and he kept asking me if I was ok. I told him that I was fine, just a bit tired. When my class was going back inside, my friend pulled me aside and asked if I was ok. I told them I thought I was going to throw up. A few minutes later, I did. I brushed it off as nothing. Again, I had a soccer game to play.
Later that school year, January 2012, I was playing floor hockey in gym class. I don’t really remember how I went down or why, I think my gym teacher accidentally pushed me, and I don’t remember hitting the ground. When I came to, the world was spinning. I kept mumbling incoherent words to my friend. Another friend looked at me crooked and told me I looked like I was nauseated. I was. My teacher kept asking me what was wrong and I told him I rolled my ankle. I was not born to be an actress and this was proof of that. When my teacher suggested I go to the nurse I refused. He kept telling me to go so I tried to run away from him. That didn’t go so well and he found me at my next class and made me go. The nurse sent me home and my mom took me to the doctor. Low and behold, a concussion is not a knee or leg injury but a head injury. I now knew what parts of the body were affected and the symptoms, but not how serious and dangerous concussions could be. I was told I wasn’t allowed to take tests. My math teacher did not understand this so he made me take it anyways. When I refused, he called the principal and she made me take the test in her office. I threw up and passed out in her office (serves her right). I missed about six weeks of soccer but I finally returned when I could trick the doctors into letting me go back. I was not symptom free.
In December of 2012 I was in eighth grade. I’d had more concussions since January of 2012 but had played through them. On December 3, 2012 I sat in my eighth grade history class. On December 5, 2012 I was sat up against a wall in my school. What happened on December 4, 2012? Even to this day I can’t give you a fully accurate answer because the truth is I don’t know. All I was told was that at soccer practice we had to practice indoors due to snow and I ended up falling and smashing my head into a wall and then collapsing to the ground when I got my head again. Apparently when I can to I was crying and when they asked why I started talking about mice. My speech was slurred, I was vomiting, anything that wasn’t pitch black was too bright. I saw the doctor a few days later and he diagnosed me with a concussion. He said I also exhibited signs of a bleed. There was also definite swelling in my brain. I missed three months of school and ten months of soccer. I went through months of rehab and therapies. On the days I showed up for school, I spent most of my time sitting in the nurses’ office. When I returned to soccer I wasn’t symptom free. I don’t see a point in what if’s but I do think it’s important to educate through my own mistakes. That should have ended my soccer career and if I thought about quality of life in the future, I would have stopped. I was in love with soccer. I breathed for soccer. As a 13/14 year old I never though of what my life would look like in 6 years. It’s now 6 years and I still suffer with all my symptoms everyday. There’s so much I wish I could’ve told my younger self. I can’t go back though. Be honest about your symptoms and remember life is more than sports.
I wish I learned my lesson. I couldn’t play varsity soccer my freshman year of high school but I did return to my club team later that fall. My first game back I noticed my double vision and then blindness in my left eye were affecting how I played. I learned how to cope with my faulty vision. I also always lose sight in my left eye when my heart rate goes up.
Sophomore year, fall 2014, I played soccer for both my club and high school varsity. At varsity practice, we’d stand at half field and just punt the ball the whole time. If one person didn’t head the ball, we all had to run while holding a ball over our heads. I suffered at least seven concussions just that fall and then two that winter with my club. In May 2015, I was told I’d never play soccer again. That summer I went to camp as always. During a game of team handball, I was knocked out. This was the hit that pushed me over the edge. I missed my entire junior year of high school. I then had to defer and transfer.
I’m now a sophomore at the University of Pittsburgh majoring in neuroscience and am minoring in chemistry and statistics. I plan on going to medical school post graduation to become an orthopedic sports medicine specialist. I want to work with athletes like myself. I still have all my symptoms today. I suffer from headaches, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, brain fog, vision trouble, ringing in my ears, balance issues, memory issues, trouble concentrating, anxiety, depression, irritability, tremors and seizures, speech issues, trouble sleeping, and more. I have OCD and ADHD from my concussions. I’ve been told I’ll have my symptoms for the rest of my life. This does not have to happen to anyone else. I want to change the culture surrounding concussions.
Claire's Concussion Journey 